How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor: Ultimate Guide


How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor? I’ve had some wonderful spiritual mentors in my life over the years—people who have spoken words of wisdom and advice into my marriage, money, personal life, and ministry.

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How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor

These folks have astounded me with the depth they’ve brought to my life. But, to be honest, it hasn’t been simple to discover such folks.

I’ve gone out to folks I hoped might become mentors, only to find out they didn’t answer, didn’t have time, or didn’t particularly connect with the idea.

Other times, I’ve waited for someone to contact me, even throwing clues along the way, but the relationship never materialized.

However, having good relationships with both older, wiser Christians and those younger than ourselves is critical to our spiritual journeys.

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Here are 10 tips I’ve discovered to searching for and finding the perfect mentor:

How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor
How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor


  • Rethink the Definition Of “Mentor.”

One of the most difficult aspects of mentoring is that the term “mentor” signifies various things to different people.

Some individuals imagine a mentor as a wise man who solves life’s most difficult problems.



Others look for a mentor who is more like a best friend than a mentor. Others are seeking life or business coaching.

Instead of using the phrase mentor when approaching someone, consider just inviting them to lunch to establish a relationship.

These attempts frequently result in a more natural friendship and allow time for thoughtfully assessing if he or she is someone from whom you wish to learn.

  • Think About What You Want In A Mentor.

Sometimes mentoring relationships may not progress beyond a brief coffee because mentees are unsure of what they want.

Do you want someone to pray for you? Are you a cheerleader? What is a life coach? Looking for a Bible study partner? A senior citizen?

Begin by asking yourself the following questions: In what area of your life do you want to grow the most?

Then build a list of who can give the greatest information and experience in assisting you to get there.

You’ll be better prepared to approach the proper individual if you know what you want.

How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor
How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor



  • Examine The Person’s Wingspan.

You could have found the ideal tutor. I discovered her at my church a few years ago.

She was a young 30-something with the poise of Martha Stewart, the cooking talents of Rachael Ray, the sensitivities of Ree Drummond, the Pioneer Woman, and the compassion of Billy Graham for the lost.

I told myself that I could learn a thousand things from her. And I certainly could have!

If she hadn’t been a mother of three kids under the age of five, with a fourth on the way.

This amazing woman had a lot to give, yet her children demanded everything she had.

Check the person’s wingspan before you go too far in fooling yourself that you’ve discovered the perfect mentor. Is there enough place for one more? Is this guy already overworked?

  • Confirm That There Is a Personal Connection.

In our zeal to find a mentor, we may seek people we admire to become mentors before making any genuine personal connection.

We may admire them, their ideas, or what they’ve done. But when we meet them face to face, there may not be any actual chemistry.

If you’re thinking of approaching someone as a mentor, start by getting to know them and making sure you have some kind of chemistry.

Some of the finest mentoring relationships I’ve ever had grew spontaneously. Never mix the concept of a natural relationship with the concept of being inadvertent.

Picking up the phone, reaching out, and nurturing a good mentoring relationship will need you picking up the phone, reaching out, and nurturing the connection.

How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor
How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor




  • Investigate The Person’s Life.

Wow! I thought as I see people’s lives from a distance. I aspire to be just like so-and-so!

But, as I’ve learned more about individuals and their lives, I’ve frequently thought to myself, “I don’t want to end up like them.”

We may learn from anybody, even donkeys, but before inviting someone to speak into your life, consider the fruit of that person’s life.

Check to see whether you’re spending your time with someone who has self-destructive tendencies or actions.

  • Share Similar Ideas.

My husband and I recently shared supper with a couple we’d long admired in life and ministry. I intended to ask the wife whether we might cultivate a mentor-like relationship on purpose.

By the time the main course arrived, we recognized our life objectives and what it meant to follow Jesus in service were vastly different.

Attempt to discover a pair whose spiritual journey is identical to yours and your spouse’s, otherwise, the mentor connection will be detrimental to both of you.

How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor
How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor
  • Appreciate Candor.

The person you truly want to be mentored by is probably exceptional in a variety of ways, but you’re probably not the first one to notice that person’s talent. He or she is most likely overburdened. Naturally, time will be limited.

So the challenge isn’t only whether you can ask the appropriate questions, but if that fantastic person can respond with straight, truthful responses.

Good mentors will astound you with their forthrightness and honesty, knowing that if you asked, you’d want to hear the answer.

  • Develop A Thick Skin.

I was in a mentorship relationship with a woman who was dating a man who had self-destructive tendencies that he had managed to conceal from her for more than six months.

I had a difficult discussion with her about the decisions she was making by continuing to date him. She afterward informed me she didn’t want to meet with me again.

For a moment, I doubted what I’d said, but I knew I was the only one being truthful with her.

You’ll need to learn to stomach what your mentor may say as you build a palate for honesty.



A buddy will often tell you what you want to hear, but a mentor will tell you what you need to hear.

Though friends are supportive and will remain with you through thick and thin, a friend may be afraid to tell a painful reality for fear of jeopardizing the bond.

A good mentor will speak the difficult things, even if it means jeopardizing the relationship.

How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor
How Do I Find A Spiritual Mentor

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  • Modify Your Expectations.

All too often, we want a mentor who can supply all the wisdom and insight we require in all aspects of life.

If we’re being honest, we’re not seeking a mentor as much as we are for a superhero we can call at any time.

One individual cannot possibly provide you with the counsel and knowledge you require in all areas of your life.

We do our mentors a disservice when we expect one person to be the end-all-be-all wisdom-dispensing guru in all areas of life.

  •  Ask God For Eyes To See.

Ask God to send individuals into your life who can be mentors and people into whom you can pour.

Chances are, God has already brought someone into your life who is ready to be a wise and encouraging voice. Pray for the ability to see.

Prepare to be astounded by what He has been working on in your midst.


What Does A Spiritual Mentor Do?

Spiritual Development Someone who cares about you and wants the best for you is a spiritual mentor. They understand that having a personal connection with Christ is the most essential thing in life, therefore they urge you to invest in it. As a consequence, you will be able to progress spiritually and in your religion.

What Does The Bible Say About Having A Mentor?

Mentorship is essential to Christian discipleship, of course. The Twelve—his own who were in the world, as John 13:1 puts it—were taught by Jesus to know him (and, through him, to know the Father) and to re-present God's love in the world. He bathed their feet while reminding them that, servants are not greater than their lord.

How Do I Ask My Pastor To Be A Mentor?

1. Bringing up the topic of mentorship 2. Arrange for a first meeting. Inquire with your possible mentor about scheduling a 15- to 30-minute meeting with you. 3. Clearly state what kind of help you're looking for. 4. Reaffirm your determination to put in the effort and follow through. 5. Respect and acknowledge the individual's time.

How Do I Become A Spiritual Advisor?

Most states require spiritual counselors to have a master's degree, and other states may additionally have licensing requirements. To discover more about a career in spiritual psychology, contact colleges that offer psychology degree programs.

What Is The Difference Between A Spiritual Father And A Mentor?

The most important distinction between a mentor and a spiritual father is that a mentor, in general, leads the mentee through a certain stage of life. A spiritual father concentrates on the child's spiritual development and enrichment throughout their lives, and has a closer relationship with them.

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