Dating an alcoholic isn’t always easy, but it’s possible. If you are the partner of an alcoholic, keep in mind that the behavior is not because of anything you did and the most important thing you can do is to focus on your own actions and recovery while staying as supportive as possible.
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For people dating an alcoholic, it’s not always easy to figure out what will help them. After all, alcoholics are often motivated by their love of alcohol – and that means any actions you take that cut down on the amount of time they spend drinking will be met with some degree of resistance.
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However if you want to help someone deal with their alcoholism and stop it from destroying their life then follow these steps – don’t do the things listed in the DON’Ts below.
Table of Contents
What Is Dating An Alcoholic Like
It can be hard to date an alcoholic. You are either living the dream, or you are in a nightmare.
Describing how to help someone who is an alcoholic can be difficult, but we have all had to learn how to cope with this disease.
Dating an alcoholic can be painful and confusing. You will find yourself giving mixed signals. You want to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, but you also want to protect yourself and your children.
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The truth is that if they are not ready for treatment and do not want help then there is nothing you can do. It’s a hard fact that we have all come to realize over the years.
You will have good days and bad days, good times and bad times too.
It’s hard for you because you know that the alcohol addiction is causing their mood swings, but it’s even harder for them because they don’t know why they feel like that.
They just do, and they can’t explain it! These mood swings can range from being really happy one minute, then really sad the next minute, then angry at almost anything in general.
It’s hard for everyone involved because no matter what way it goes – it hurts!
Alcoholism is a disease that can destroy the life of the alcoholic and those around him or her.
Understanding this disease and how to help someone with it is one of the most important things a person can do for a friend or family member.
Signs of Alcoholism
Alcoholism affects people in different ways and at different times, making it difficult to identify when it first begins.
Drinking habits change with time, as well, making it hard to plan ahead for intervention if you’re not sure what’s happening to your loved one.
Here are some signs that you may need to look out for:
- Inability to limit alcohol intake
- Drinks in larger amounts than intended
- Drinking in secret
- Drinking alone
- Using alcohol to overcome problems
- Frequent excuses made while drinking
- Continuing to drink even after negative consequences occur
- Severe hangovers
- Becoming defensive when confronted about drinking
- Alcohol becomes more important than other activities
- Drinking continues despite relationship problems
- Alcohol interferes with job/children/schoolwork
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What Is The Best Way To Deal With Dating An Alcoholic?
Here is a list of things to avoid when dating an alcoholic. This list is mostly geared towards women who are dating alcoholics.
If you’re a male alcoholic and reading this, you are probably well aware of these things already. I’m sure you’ve done all these things yourself at some point in your drinking career.
To date an alcoholic, you should never:
- Agree to babysit their kid or give them a ride home from work.
You are not a babysitter or a taxi driver. That’s what friends and family are for.
- Pick them up at the bar or at a party and take them out with you and your friends.
This will just make them want to continue drinking with you instead of going home and dealing with their problems.
- Go over to their house while they’re drinking.
They’ll want to drink more if they know you’re around and they won’t stop until they get sloppy drunk, which can be dangerous if someone is driving them home later.
- Agree to go to AA meetings with them.
Agree to go to AA meetings with them unless it’s something that YOU want to do too, not just something they want to do because it gives them a good excuse not to drink again.
- Give Advice:
Giving advice never works because the alcoholic has already tried everything you suggest, this is why they are still drinking or have given up completely. All you can do is listen to them and let them know they have your support. You will find that alcoholics are also very good at giving advice which should be taken with a grain of salt!
- Get Involved in Their Drinking Habits:
Do not try and keep up with an alcoholic while they drink. This could lead to you drinking as well and becoming just as bad as them or even worse getting a DUI if you drive after drinking too much alcohol.
What Is The Average Lifespan Of An Alcoholic?
The fact is, no one knows. The problem is, no one keeps track of the average alcoholic’s lifespan. All available statistics are estimates.
They have been compiled from data on those people who were identified as alcoholics and were willing to admit it. Therefore, it is likely the figures are significantly lower than the actual number of years that an alcoholic can live.
A large percentage of alcoholics do not seek treatment for their addiction. This means they will never be officially identified as alcoholics, and therefore will never be counted in any estimate of life expectancy.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease that can be fatal if left untreated. The life expectancy of an alcoholic depends on several factors, including genetic predisposition, actual physical health, and the presence of other diseases.
In some cases, a patient’s long-term alcohol consumption can lead to a much earlier death than would be expected by his age alone
Can A Sober Person Date Someone Who Drinks?
If you love a drinking alcoholic, can you have a healthy relationship? Well, not if your definition of “healthy” includes the word “sober.”
But it is possible to have a relationship with an alcoholic that is not destructive.
Since alcoholism is a disease (like diabetes), it affects everyone in the family, even non-drinkers. The reason I say “even non-drinkers” is because non-drinkers don’t have to deal with the effects of alcohol abuse.
What effects might there be?
First off, alcoholics tend to be moody. This means that when they drink, they become more angry or depressed than normal. The same person who’s always been easy to get along with may suddenly become mean and insulting without any provocation from you.
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You may also see him or her fall into depression, drink too much, and then pass out for hours on end – this may happen several times in one week.
Alcoholism can also cause someone to act impulsively, do things he or she later regrets and then try to make up for them by giving extravagant gifts or making promises he or she can’t keep.
The alcoholic may start gambling more frequently, shop more often or use drugs and still deny they have a problem.
Is It Hard To Date An Alcoholic?
Is it hard to date an alcoholic? How about finding a good relationship with someone who has this problem?
An alcoholic is someone who can’t control their drinking habit and will consume alcohol in any way they can. This may be a problem for you if you are in a relationship with an alcoholic, or if you are currently trying to find one.
Trying to get involved with an alcoholic can be hard since the main attraction of alcohol is that it takes over your life and makes you oblivious to everything else around you.
It becomes your main priority, and when you have an addiction like this, it is very difficult to change.
Click Here To Listen to A Free Audio Book On Alcoholism
It’s also very challenging to stay in a relationship with someone who has this problem. If you decide that your feelings for them are stronger than the addiction, you must have a lot of patience and a lot of time to devote to them.
You also need to do some research on alcoholics, so that you know what kind of person has this problem.
Sometimes it’s due to genetics or early childhood experiences that made the person want to drink excessively. Alcoholism is also linked with depression, anxiety attacks, and other emotional problems.
If the individual cannot get help for these issues, they will continue drinking heavily and draining all their resources to do so.
In Conclusion
Only the alcoholic can decide if and when they are ready to make a change.
You may have the best of intentions and feel guilty for dating an alcoholic but this will only hurt you both in the long run.
In the meantime, you should continue to seek help at a support group or counseling center. You might even want to enroll in a 12-step program as well.
These will also help you learn how you can care for yourself during this difficult period of your life so that another destructive relationship does not happen again in the future.
